When two men fight over a woman it's the fight they want, not the woman.

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.

A general and a bit of shooting makes you forget your troubles ... it takes your mind off the cost of living.

God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can't do it themselves!

Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.