The English and Americans dislike only some Irish--the same Irish that the Irish themselves detest, Irish writers--the ones that think.

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.

Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can't do it themselves!

I'm a Communist by day and a Catholic as soon as it gets dark.

Nothing hurts more than the friendly letter that one never got around to writing.

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.