You made one mistake. You married me.

When two men fight over a woman it's the fight they want, not the woman.

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack of respect for everything and everybody.

God forgive us-but most of us grew up to be the sort of men our mothers warned us against.

Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can't do it themselves!

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

I'm a drinker with a writing problem.