There's no one, no one, loves you like yourself.
Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
Other people's interruptions of your work are relatively insignificant compared with the countless times you interrupt yourself.
All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.
The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.