Pound notes are the best religion in the world.

A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.

Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.

Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

Ninety-seven saint days a year wouldn't affect the theater, but two Yom Kippurs would ruin it.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.