There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

I am a daylight atheist.

In a society which really supported marriage the wife would be encouraged to go to the office and make love to her husband on the company's time and with its blessing.

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.

The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.

Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.