Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge from meself, put in.
An author's first duty is to let down his country.
Prostitutes, more than any other profession, help keep American marriages together.
The only thing I envy in young people is their livers.
When I'm talking to people I like to stop and quote myself. My quotes have a way of spicing up conversation.
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.