Telling the entire world and his dog how good a manager I was. I knew I was the best but I should have said nowt and kept the pressure off 'cos they'd have worked it out for themselves.

Acne is a bigger problem than injuries.

The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.

I'm dealing with my drinking problem and I have a reputation for getting things done.

Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive.

Being thick isn't an affliction if you're a footballer, because your brains need to be in your feet. And Beckham works hard, he's brave and he crosses a ball superbly. He treats a football like he does a wife, lovingly, with caresses.

You don't want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday.