I love the semicolon; it's unnecessary, but graceful and sophisticated.

Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.

When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.

If I have a talent for making some fourth-grader who hates school and reading to hate it a little less, then I have to do the most with what I've been issued.

A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it.

There’s no such thing as free kittens.