The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
You always nag the one you love
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.