Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.

The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.

I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.

My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.