In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
You always nag the one you love
When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'
What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?
The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.