We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.

The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.

You always nag the one you love

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.