I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.
You always nag the one you love
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?
Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.