I don't mind being interviewed on television or radio.

When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.

With humor, it’s so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?

At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.

You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?' And I say, 'Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.'

Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.