The Banh Mi sandwich is really the only good argument for colonialism.

The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living than work.

Do my ears deceive me, or can I actually hear the sounds of worms turning? You say a turning worm makes no sound? But how about a chorus of turning worms?

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

I suppose it's possible that the Sundance Kid didn't like to make much of his birthdays — they may have struck him as just another reminder that his draw was getting slower by the year—but what if he truly liked a major celebration? What if he looked forward every year to marking the day of his birth with what they used to call in the West 'a real wingding, with pink balloons and a few survivors'?

When it comes to rapacious 19th century capitalism, my family's hands are clean.

The price of purity is purists.