Being on a book tour is a lot easier than reporting.

If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?

Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

There is no question that Rumanian-Jewish food is heavy. One meal is equal in heaviness, I would guess, to eight or nine years of steady mung-bean eating.

If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?