There's always a source for humor.

Everybody is who he was in high school.

If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

I suppose that there are endeavors in which self-confidence is even more important than it is in writing -- tightrope walking comes immediately to mind -- but it's difficult for me to think of anybody producing much writing if his confidence is completely shot.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.