Following the Rumanian tradition, garlic is used in excess to keep the vampires away... Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Taking pleasure in the dark side may be some sort of occupational hazard for reporters.

With humor, it’s so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.

The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus one hundred percent.