I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.

When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.

If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.