I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.

It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn't have to be.

Everybody is who he was in high school.

As part of my research for An Anthology of Authors' Atrocity Stories About Publishers, I conducted a study (employing my usual controls) that showed the average shelf life of a trade book to be somewhere between milk and yoghurt.

The talk shows are stuffed full of sufferers who have regained their health--congressmen who suffered through a serious spell of boozing and skirt-chasing, White House aides who were stricken cruelly with overweening ambition, movie stars and baseball players who came down with acute cases of wanting to trash hotel rooms while under the influence of recreational drugs. Most of them have found God, or at least a publisher.

At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.