My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

Comedy = tragedy + time.

But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.

I couldn't get the laughter out of my head. It wasn't career. It wasn't even a choice. It was a calling.

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.