If you see a kid in school, who is a little shy ... that's when you should reach out. When you do, you are going to open up a flower and discover something wonderful.

But I don't begrudge anybody, because I know how hard it is to have that dream and to make it happen, whether or not it's just to put a roof over your head and food on the table.

I'm really not that funny in real life. But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

I think we're here for each other.

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

I don't remember a time when I wasn't waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee.

I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.