I think the hardest thing to do in the world, show-business-wise, is write comedy.

I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.

It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.

I don't remember a time when I wasn't waiting for a scab either to grow or to fall off my knee.

What I like to write about is stuff I know. I don't think I could write a novel. I don't think I have it in me to come up with those kinds of characters.