I'm really not that funny in real life. But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.

In '57, I got a job at the Blue Angel nightclub, and a gentleman named Ken Welch wrote all my material for me. I lived at a place called the Rehearsal Club that was actually the basis for a play called Stage Door.

My interesting diet tips are eat early and don't nosh between meals. I mean, I can pack it away.

The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.'

I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis.

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.