It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

I have a great memory.

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.

People invite me to dinner not because I can cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate gratification from windex. Yes, I do windows.

Daddy, when he drank, just became sweeter. There wasn't a mean thought in his body. I've always said he was like a drunk Jimmy Stewart.

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.