It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

Comedy = tragedy + time.

I liked myself better when I wasnt me.

I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.

I'm really not that funny in real life. But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

I have a great memory.