It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

I always preferred working with somebody so I could look into their eyeballs and play tennis.

But I didn't ask to have somebody nose around in my private life. I didn't even ask to be famous. All I asked was to be able to earn a living making people laugh.

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

My grandmother and I saw an average of eight movies a week, double features, second run.

I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.

If someone tells you that you cannot do something and you believe it, they are right.