It's high time something was done for the pitchers. They put up the stands and take down fences to make more home runs and plague the pitchers. Let them revive the spitter and help the pitchers make a living.

Don't cut your nose off yourself.

Sometimes it's easier to understand things than it is to figure them out

Don't cut off your nose yourself.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

I made up my mind, but I made it up both ways.

Because there'd be two languages I couldn't speak, French and English.