Even if I thought I could get a submission I'm not laying underneath a grown man with my legs spread on worldwide TV. Some guys subscribe to that theory but I am a Republican and we don't do that.

You tell Anderson Silva that I'm coming over and I'm kicking down his backdoor and patting his little lady on the ass and I'm telling her to make me a steak, medium-rare just how I like it.

You know, these guys want to talk about God; 'Oh, I want to thank God. I want to thank God.' Listen, I'm a God-fearing man, go to church every Sunday and have since I was a boy. But if I ever found out that God cared one way or another about a borderline illegal fist-fight on Saturday night, I would be so greatly disappointed that it would make rethink my entire belief system.

Machida is not a bad guy; he's a victim of the brazilian education system. There are better ways to get electrolytes than drinking piss.

A Black Belt under the Nogueira Brothers is like saying I got a free toy in my happy meal

I can't justify to myself working less, even if you get more out of it. Even though, in practice, it does seem it would be better for me personally.

When Anderson walks into a room, you can hear a rat pissing on cotton.