Thank God for Jerry Springer's show. I thought only black folks were that screwed up until I watched Jerry Springer.

To me, there's only 5 real jobs in America: Police Officers, Teachers, Firefighters, Doctors, and the Military Service.

Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they're still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn't do much for them.

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

You know what I always say about basketball whenever anybody tried to tell me the Knicks are gonna be good: They're old. Old people don't get healthy. They die.

We don't need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

Hey Steve, no offense, but if you couldn't shoot, there would be no reason for you to be alive.