If you can't slam with the best, then jam with the rest.

I read that heavy drinking is bad for your health. I decided I better stop reading.

We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic.

I May Be Wrong but I Doubt It.

Curling is not a sport. I called my grandmother and told her she could win a gold medal because they have dusting in the Olympics now.

My family got all over me because they said Bush is only for the rich people. Then I reminded them, 'Hey, I'm rich'.

When you get arrested it's in big letters. When you get acquitted it's in small letters.