I'm not a role model... Just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids.

If all babies are so cute, how the hell do we have so many ugly people in the world?

I'm serious. I've got to get people to realize that the government is full of it. Republicans and Democrats want to argue over stuff that's not important, like gay marriage or the war in Iraq or illegal immigration... When I run - if I run - we're going to talk about real issues like improving our schools, cleaning up our neighborhoods of drugs and crime and making Alabama a better place for all people.

I think you have an obligation to be honest.

If somebody hits you with an object you should beat the hell out of them.

They run like deer, jump like deer and think like deer.

I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking - and that's all that golf is - then you are officially fat.