I don't have time to put up with the politics. Who's a Democrat? Who's a Republican? Who's liberal? Who's conservative? Man, can my daughter just go to a school and not get killed? Can these people get a good job? That's what I'm concerned about.

If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing.

Those Grizzlies are more like pandas.

You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world and I might be right.

Everything gets blamed on the Clintons, every single thing in this world. I think Bill Clinton shot JFK, too.

Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.

I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.