Dear Great Pumpkin, Halloween is now only a few days away. Children all over the world await you coming. When you rise out of the pumpkin patch that night, please remember I am your most loyal follower. Have a nice trip. Don't forget to take out flight insurance.

Mom put a note in my lunch again, I see... Dear son, I hope you will study hard in summer school... Do not look upon it as a punishment, but rather as a privilege... We are very proud of you, and want you to have a good education. This note will self-destruct in five seconds.

I just don't know how to write a love letter. What can you say to a girl that shows you really like her?" "How about, enclosed please find a cookie?

What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

For one brief moment victory was within our grasp!" "And then the game started!

What happened to fun?" "Our insurance doesn't cover it!

There is no problem so big it cannot be run away from.