Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.

Only in math can you buy sixty cantaloupes and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.

You know what Oscar Wilde said, ma'am? He said, "nothing that is worth knowing can be taught". Nothing personal, ma'am... Carry on.

It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.

Going to our school is an education in itself which is not to be confused with actually getting an education.

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.