Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.

Sometimes, when you walk by the home of the girl you love, you can see her standing by the window... She waves at you, and you wave back... But it's her grandmother.

I feel kind of depressed today... Do you ever have the feeling that life has passed you by? Worse than that... Sometimes I think life and I are going in opposite directions!

Do what is absolutely you and nobody else.

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

Here I am flying high over enemy lines in my Sopwith Camel searching for the Red Baron. Who's that behind me? It's the Red Baron! He has me in his sights! Give my regards to Broadway.