Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it sure makes the rest of you lonely.

Charlie Brown: "Life is just too much for me... I've been confused right from the day I was born... I think the whole trouble is that we're thrown into life too fast... We're not really prepared..." Linus: "What did you want... A chance to warm up first?"

A beep on the nose is a sign of great affection.

I guess babysitters are like used cars... You never really know what you're getting.

I can hear my heart beating. I can hear my stomach growling. I can hear my teeth grinding and my joints creaking. My body's so noisy, I can't sleep.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.