Reality TV's pretty tricky for me. I don't really watch anything like that, because I think it's brain-sucking.

[Late-night host] is not really a job for a woman. You can't have kids and be a late-night host.I mean Samantha Bee has children, but you're there all day and all night. No one has a life outside of it. I would never try to have a family. I care much more about a career anyway, than having a family, so that's my own prerogative. It's just not something that a woman.

Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.

The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.

I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.

Mexico's a great place to overcome a drug addiction.

I would rather sit next to a transgender person and discuss why every single one I've met smells like a bar in the daytime than listen to people tell my why I want to have children and that I just don't know it yet. I do know, because I'm me and my feelings are the ones in my head. I don't want to have kids, and it's not a device to get attention or have conversations about it. I simply find children incredibly immature and, more often than not, dumb.