I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.

Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.

You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.

You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age... and you have your own TV show.

It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.

There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It’s the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.