Obviously its nice to give your time and especially when there is money being raised. It's rewarding.

The whole thing about my books and my life is that I create drama's always around me.

The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.

I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.

I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.

In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.

I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.