Tara Reid is charging $3,500 for a personal appearance fee. So, for only $3,500 you can either buy a 1998 Jetta with 130,000 miles on it... or Tara Reid, who only has 98,000 miles on her.

Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.

Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.

Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?

You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.