It became clear when I got in my car that Persians are only really good for two things. Oil and hummus.

I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.

Obviously you want to be smart enough to take other people's advice and take that into consideration, and obviously try to surround yourself with people that are smarter than you. As far as sticking to your guns, I think there is no better advice than to just find something that you really give a s - about and then go do it.

Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.

This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.

Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.