If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.
Chelsea HandlerAt some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer.
Chelsea HandlerThat just sends the wrong message to everybody. [Donald Trump] should have the least amount of air time.
Chelsea HandlerI don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.
Chelsea Handler