I'd like to go out for a cocktail... or seven.

Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.

If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.

The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.

It always freaks me out when I go to a sushi place and there's a Mexican.

It's good that people don't like you. That's good. It means that you are doing something interesting.

I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.