Kiefer Sutherland has agreed to serve 48 days in jail for his DUI convictions. That's 245 months in Jack Bauer years.

I think the people in your life are the people that - when you can make other people happy and you can give things to your family and your friends, you know, that's really obviously what life is all about. But it doesn't have to be children. It doesn't have to be a husband. It can be whatever you make it.

David Hasselhoff was hospitalized after falling off the wagon again. He probably got used to drinking too much, because for years he never had to worry about driving anywhere - his car drove itself.

I got a vibrator that needed two nine volt batteries. What am I - R2D2? I don't know what to do with that.

I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.

No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.

It's hard to tell these days what gender people are. You don't know if they're gay, if they're straight, or Bruce Jenner.