This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that reads Shiloh. Maybe it’s not that weird. After all, he could be the father.

Who's the president on the $100 bill? I don't know. I don't need to know because I don't use cash. I only use travelers checks.

If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.

It's a pleasure to play my sister because everything I've accused her of my whole life, I can now re-enact before her eyes.

I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.