[Gordon Ramsay] knows about being bullied, because look at the size of him.

I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.

People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid; I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.

Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.

I don't like people who drink decaf coffee it's like what. Why you drinking it? Like it taste so good? That's like drinking non alcoholic vodka.

People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.

I would never get married while my father is still alive because I wouldn't want him to walk me down the aisle.