[Gordon Ramsay] knows about being bullied, because look at the size of him.

If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.

The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.

Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon just got themselves a marriage license. I think before she gets married again Pam needs to slow down and think about whether this is really the man she wants to spend three or four months of her life with.

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq.

People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid; I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.

Reality TV's pretty tricky for me. I don't really watch anything like that, because I think it's brain-sucking.