According to Life & Style Weekly, 50 Cent may be working on Lindsay Lohan's next album. Finally, a match made in rap heaven. He's a convicted drug dealer who's been shot nine times, and she spent 84 minutes in prison. This is a big step for Lindsay. The last time Lindsay got near a black guy she ran over his foot.

I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It’s the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.

You got married recently to a rapper. It doesn't take them long to impregnate women.

You know what they say, when one door closes, another Belvedere opens.

People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.

There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.