I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.
Chelsea HandlerParis Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It’s the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.
Chelsea HandlerI think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run into Paris Hilton and she's like, Oh, I love your show. And I'm like, You can't love my show if you can hear.
Chelsea HandlerI don't think the problem is telling people you're on a diet. The problem is eating ice cream for breakfast.
Chelsea Handler