My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.
Chelsea HandlerThere's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
Chelsea HandlerI think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.
Chelsea HandlerYou get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.
Chelsea HandlerPaula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.
Chelsea HandlerIt would be nice if everybody were a little bit more mindful of what kind of product you're putting out there. Nothing's for everybody. People are liked and disliked, but at least be mindful of what you're doing and what your message is, and trying to stay true to your authenticity and what you're trying to attain or what your goals are, and don't let anybody get in the way of that. At the same time, have a goal, and have a message.
Chelsea Handler