My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what is going on with celebrities. So I have to know everything.

I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.

I like to just follow what I find compelling. In order for me to be compelling, I have to be compelled. I don't try to think about what people are interested in seeing, I have to be interested. For me, that works the best.

Having a baby, it's like a five year commitment.

If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.

Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.

Is Heather McDonald your best friend? You better get a new one.