Good Luck Chuck, a comedy starring Dane Cook and Jessica Alba, opened today, and critics are saying it has all the belly laughs you’ve come to expect from Jessica Alba.

I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.

My message is strong and my belief is strong, in the fact that we can still be provocative and have fun and just get informed.

Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed to the other with a nurse's hat on while your father, who is also naked, is chasing her with a bandanna around his neck, is reason to put yourself up for adoption.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.

I hate that people assume guys are the only ones to want sex. Girls want sex, too, and that shouldn't be a problem.