It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be.

I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can't show them?

If diamonds are a girl's best friend, I wonder if blood diamonds are a girl's best friend 5 days out of the month?

I would rather sit next to a transgender person and discuss why every single one I've met smells like a bar in the daytime than listen to people tell my why I want to have children and that I just don't know it yet. I do know, because I'm me and my feelings are the ones in my head. I don't want to have kids, and it's not a device to get attention or have conversations about it. I simply find children incredibly immature and, more often than not, dumb.

If you wait too long in Vegas, you end up with a chicken finger in your underwear.

Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.

Boy George has been charged with falsely imprisoning a man who'd gone to his apartment to pose for photographs. Going to Boy George's house to get your picture taken is like going to David Copperfield's island for a radio opportunity.