I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.

Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?

I tried to put myself up for adoption several times.

I couldn't go any higher with three Michelin stars. I mastered my craft. I'm still learning and picking up ideas.

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.

The only thing worse than dating a single mom is dating a single mom that won't put out.