I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.

I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.

For the gay and lesbian community, even though I'm not gay I think its really important to speak out for people that aren't necessarily dealing with the same circumstances you're dealing with and don't have the benefit of the health care system or the government that you do.

I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.

First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.

Being that frank and being that open, there's more praise than there is negativity. It's just the negativity gets printed because you're straight and f - ing rude. It's not rude, it's just getting straight to the point.

I think bullying of anybody, whether they're gay or straight or anything in high school is unbearable.