I'm not graceful either. I have no rhythm, I'm never on top.

I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.

In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.

I’ll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.

The only thing worse than dating a single mom is dating a single mom that won't put out.

Mexico's a great place to overcome a drug addiction.

A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the Bahamas in July. What happened to the good old days when a guy would just saw you in half?